You Think You Know Me...

11:13pm: Wow, This is Some Stupid Drama
To those who haven't read a while back, I discussed someone not liking me b/c of me getting more attention then they do. It's how I basically don't really do anything, and people give me more attention than this person, and they don't like me, or the people around me for it.

Those in the KYF know this, but there was a bit of a "debate," so to say. Jokes were made, and things suddenly got out of hand. I opened my phone at work and found these messages sent to me. I'm going to actually spell things correctly, but use the words he did. In bold italic parentheses will be what's going through my head.
===
"Just as an FYI you do encourage it (getting attention) one pretty wrong way. You are a psychology major so I'm just stating and not trying to drama provoke you right now. (No, I know what you're trying to do)
But serious, you let certain girl that you know want to get with you cuddle and snuggle and touch you up in your personal space. (These girls being who? My friends? Ones that I know are taken and I'm not trying to break up? When in the community we're in, giving hugs is almost a prerequisite. Oh no, I'm more hug-able) That is a true histrionic person. (B/c that's me. All the way)
That's not the best way to treat people you know like you. (What?) Just like I don't let Kaz hang and cuddle on me It's leading him on just like you do with people. (Didn't you and Kaz go out for a while? Yes you did. Aren't you two both twig thin narcissists? There can't be competition over who gets to be the pretty one. I digress, I'm leading people on w/ hugs and cuddles. Really? So being friendly enough to give hugs makes me a deceitful whore?)
I do want attention b/c I have come a long way from hating myself and it's nice to know my work is noticed since I take hard core care of myself. I don't want others not to get attention Just think it should be more shared as I try to share good things about others. (So you're admitting you're a socialistic narcissist? Does taking "hard core care of myself" mean "starve myself and buy pretty things to make me look good"? B/c that's what I've seen Oh Lord, that part killed me a bit)
You won't find me using anything sexual which includes allowing someone to reach their hand in my pants (yeah >.>)just to string them along. (I don't see much of anything sexual coming from you. Y'all are a freaking ice queen who won't let yourself be sullied by the touch of us lower people. Nor do I string anyone along w/ my 'sexual prowess', by the way.)
So you do warrant your attention in a way not all that healthy and as a psychology buff, you should see that." (But cross dressing and trying to look more like a girl and saying "I want to to that" in regards to drag queens is a much healthier way to get attention? Or maybe cam whoring myself on art pages in said girls clothing and fish for compliments there instead? That's healthier, right?)
===
Thoughts anyone?

Someone just can't handle that I'm prettier. =P

11:50pm: Really?
I give up on football this season... If you lose to the Cleveland Browns, you got nothing.

11:34pm: An Amusing Reason Not to Like Someone
I can understand not liking people for multiple reasons. Say, clash of personality, or mannerisms, or what have you. But a reason someone doesn't like me so much: I "steal their thunder." Meaning i get more attention from people than they do. And it's not like I'm trying to get attention! I'm just sitting there, being myself. :laughs:

Oh well. Anyway! Pretty good day the past days. Holiday, nothing special. No real dinner or anything. Today was a busy work day, which is surprising considering it's a restaurant the day after a big meal-day.

Really, not much to report on at the moment. I'm far too tired. Maybe later.

11:58pm: Quick Life Update
What's going on?
Well, couple weeks ago, I went to the West Virgina area to visit people that never get company w/ Miss Artic and Bob. The area around there is very pretty, however, it got dark too fast to really enjoy the scenery for long periods of time. Later on, it was off to Lexington to crash for the night, after some Mario Party, Wario Ware and Rock Band. In the morning (Sunday) I had to go to a work meeting, which was completely pointless. Oh well.
This past weekend was MFF in Chicago. That was a lot of fun. This is the first time I went w/o my usual crew (being the roommates), but it worked out pretty well. I got to (b/c I had to) hang out w/ new people, and it was totally worth it. S'good to make some new, closer friends (rather than just 'acquaintances'), y'know? I saw quite a few of the older friends I have such as Dragoon, Landis, Jouster and such. I didn't hang out so long w/ them, but it was great seein' them. Even the car rides were fun w/ Artic and Kadiko. Overall, this has got to be one of the best con experiences I've had.
Going out after work tomorrow (at least, that's the plan), so I've been pretty busy these past few weeks. It's nice actually be able to get out and do things. =D

1:49pm: Giant X-Post, Pleae Read
After a terrible mishap, I have lost my first phone. Along w/ it, all the phone numbers stored in it. However, I did have insurance on it, so I will be receiving my new phone sometime soon.

If I had your phone number, or you wish to give me your phone number, please do so! Private message me, IM, e-mail, text (Along w/ your name, so I know who you are. Since my phone isn't on, I'll get texts once my phone is activated) me your numbers again.

Thanks! =D

10:07pm: A Roller Coaster of Self Esteem
I'm pretty, yes, I know. I've heard that since I was 14 (and still had short hair, imagine that). I've been called pretty a multitude of times w/in the past year or so. However, while those words inflates the ego, I am deflated by the fact that I'm seen only as being pretty. I have a mind under this shell of beauty, I have plenty to say (given that it's something I can relate to. No more Dn'D or Magic cards, I never liked it, never interested me) and I can speak it quite well. It seems that no one really has much of an interest in what I have an interest/knowledge in. Come on, for example, I really can't be the only sports fan w/in my group of friends! Granted, I don't really say much to start the conversations, I should work on that, but I can talk. Oh, what cruel fate has bestowed me w/ such utter beauty on the outside, but such mediocrity of mental and inner beauty!

Alas, I am rambling on about things that shouldn't really bother me that much. I have plenty of time to work on showing off my mentality once my beauty fades. =P

9:49pm: Lately.
Work: Work is going alright. Things are finally picking up and getting done (when the owner isn't there). I hate working after him, he never has anything ready for the next shift.

Home: Things are okay here too. Right now, everyone is at the Evil Dead musical, leaving me the house alone (minus the cats, of course). Speaking of cats, I got Jormungand fixed. Unfortunately, he didn't have one fully descended testicle, so he required extra surgery. He has to wear the Elizabethan cone on his heat to prevent him from taking out the staples in his belly. None of the other cats like him right now. It's no good.

Life: I've gone out the past half week! Wednesday after work, I went out w/ Artic, Bob and Sammy to Cafe 360 and to see 'Zombieland.' Thursday, I went over to Alpha's to see Alpha and Artic. I helped Alpha cook for the Halloween party the next day. Yesterday, after work, i went to said Halloween party. It was nice seeing new and old people. After the party, went out to 360 again and crashed at Kaidiko's house. While there, saw 'Monsters Vs. Aliens' and 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. Sadly, I couldn't get any sleep while there. T'wasn't a very comfortable place to sleep, being so cold there. Come one pm today, I came home and slept til seven. I feel a lot better after some sleep.

I got nothing else planned for the immediate future, and that's fine w/ me. After such a busy past week (busy considering how little I actually get to go out. =P) a lazy day or two is something to look forward to.

Personally: I'm feeling a bit off. I really can't describe it. It could be that I'm still tired but there is something not right. :shakes head: I may feel better in the morning or after some food.

Speaking of, I'm going to cheer on the Phillies and get me something to eat.

5:01am: Uhhhg.
So, I have a co-worker of mine passed out drunk on my floor. I'm currently washing their clothes due to an 'incident,' I can't go to bed until I get them in the dryer. And I have an e-mail from someone who knows "stuff they should mind their own business about" talking to me about stuff that's been going on for the past few years that doesn't concern them.

Lovely.

On a side (and more positive) note, to all my MA and New England friends, I will be returning home this December 21st or 22nd and I will be staying until the 2nd of January. Reserve time w/ me while there are still open slots. =P

10:45pm: Ooh, Gurl
Finally got food in the house. Getting good hours for this coming paycheck. Having 'Drea and Brit coming from MA to visit by tonight. Going to be getting my tickets to go back home in December.

Looks to be a pretty good start to the month. =D

11:48pm: I Don't Want to Be This Person...
...But I was about to walk out of work this past Monday. During work, my boss and I had an exchange of words on why work that the people closing on Sunday wasn't done. 'Course he took it personally b/c he was closing on Sunday, but honestly! Simple things such as filling napkin dispensers (it took 3 packs of napkins for ME to fill), filling sauce bottles, wiping tables, stocking foods and beers... not that hard. It can take maybe an hour. He says he stayed til 1:30am cleaning up, but we close at 9:00pm Sunday! What was going on the rest of the time?! And he goes off on me about talking to my friend for fifteen minutes when I could be checking up on all the things that weren't finished.

What the fuck is that? Number one, I was working the entire time I was talking. Number two, those are things that someone who opens shouldn't have to deal with. Number three, who the fuck is he to tell me not to talk w/ friends at work? He does it all the time! I come in for a second shift on Fridays -early I might add-, (while he "works" first shift), and there is nothing done. The lazy-ass mother-fucker is lucky to have someone like me who makes sure work is done, who can cover shifts that can't be covered and is the only reason another person is still working there. If I go, she'll go. And our schedules are not easy to fill w/ the workers he has now.

Pretty much, I'm looking for him to say one thing, just one thing to me, and I'm walking. I put up w/ his bullshit for too long, no one likes him, no one wants him in his own place. I will be fine w/o a job for a while, I have money saved. Plus, it shouldn't be too hard for me to get a job again. If it gets really bad, I'll take a trip back home, work there for a while and be fine for when I come back to KY. And if I'm willing to commute a long distance, I'll be good. Three bus transfers can't be all bad, not if I'm making money.

I've got other applications all filled out. I just got to put them in and see who likes what they see. Fuck two weeks notice for them. I don't care anymore.

Just say one thing...

12:40am: Oof.
Internet has been fickle... Lasts for five minutes (and is very slow/weak), down for the next 3 hours. I'm lucky to be able to update. S'too bad I won't get to any of my art sites. I'm going to be bombarded.

My laptop has officially died. It's led a good life, 7+ years. I didn't get to move all my things off the hard drive though... so I'm going to lose some art, writings and pictures. :sigh:

I'm tired of being the one who can cover and pick up anyone else's work, but there is NO one who can cover any of my shifts if need be. Bah.

Related note, closing the restaurant, walking home, and opening the next day isn't fun.

I'm tired. Sleep.

7:14pm: The Agenda
I am needing to pick up a few things. Currently, i am awaiting the delivery of a new mattress that I have purchased. Also, there are many household things that need to get done here, such as purchase of a front door, chainsaw, freezer, vacuum, etc. Hopefully, the other roommates will throw some money down to help.
The job hunt is, once again, on. I haven't left the restaurant, but I'm needing something more stable than that place. It's a mess, people are leaving, things are not bought, stocked, filled. It's not the best of working conditions.

Stuff to do, Stuff to do...

4:55pm: Let's Recap
So I haven't updated in a while, and quite a bit has gone on. It's time for a recap of my latest happenings.

AC: It was okay. More ups than downs (actually, very few downs). I'd label it a successful trip. Hung out w/ a lot of new people, rather than the people I room w/. It was a nice change from the last cons.

Road trip: After AC, the house mates and I went on a road trip down the eastern coast, from Delaware down to North Carolina. I, personally was drained from AC, and didn't really want to be on another week long trip, but overall it was alright. Went swimming, ate at some neat places, got a little sun. Not bad at all.

Work: Hellacious. People are quitting left and right, wanting me to cover for them days I'm already working (doing 2 jobs at once, or doing a 12 hour shift isn't my thing). Nothing is getting done for when I have to work, therefore I have to cover the slack the people before me didn't do. Boss is a dick who is asking ME to be more flexible, which is total bullshit. He leaves when I should be leaving (so I'm stuck staying there until someone can cover me, which usually is an hour extra wait), I do the work he won't do and I'm not being flexible enough. I need a new job, I almost don't care where.

House: Aside from the flood in our basement, fine. People aren't doing their dishes again, there's a bit of a mess in places, it took forever for everyone to have money so we could grocery shop (I don't think it's fair that 3 people pay for food when there are 4 people living there), and random house expenses that need fixing (like a new door). Bt that's the way it is w/ most roommates. Overall, it's fine.

Pets: Fleas, doing all we can to kill them, but they don't seem to be bothering me. So either the flea problem is being taken care of slowly, or they just don't like me. Plus, my cat is he most adorable, best cat ever. Look at him... sleeping w/ the other cats. It's cute.

Personal: I'm fine. Got a couple more piercings, bringing the number up to 13. Still sore and red, but doing fine, I think. S'hard to sleep lately, so I'm more tired than normal. I've been a bit irritated lately. If not work, or w/ this broken keyboard, than w/ people. One example that immediately comes to mind is how people will stop talking or hanging out once they get themselves a boy/girl friend. It's as if they have no more time to just be your friend because their life now has to revolve around their new shnoogy-woogy-oomga-wanga. Honestly, It's not a big deal that you found someone. Yes, good for you, I'm happy for you, let's go do something. What's more irritating is if it's a longer distance relationship. They're not even around and you still have no time/desire to hang out? Fuck that, you suck. Don't come to me when it doesn't work out.

Finally, a meme that Draenin gave to me a long time ago. He picked five words that he thought best described me, and I must give my thoughts on such. ( And they are... )

I'll try to post more, perhaps. S'a shame to lose out on some thoughts that I wished to write down but forgot to.

11:38pm: Goings On., Rambling
Things have been pretty good. I really can't complain. Work may be hot and unpleasant, but it's going alright. I'll be taking a two week vacation soon, which I'll be on my way to Pittsburgh and to the ocean. My kitten is getting along so very well w/ the other cats, and is the CUTEST THING EVER (next to me, of course. =P). The house is slowly getting clean, which is GREAT. it's been far too long and needed for this house to get cleaned up. S'nice when everyone helps out. Had my ego boosted a while ago, being called 'cute' by multiple people. Oddly enough, my 'cuteness' ended up making someone shy around me, like being cute is worth getting all shy over. ^^; Made a new friend. Always a good thing. Interesting person to hang out w/, very generous too. Almost makes me feel bad getting these 'gifts' (since my money is not going to be taken for helping out), but what can I do, eh? Other people I have a past history w/ (as in old friends, not the new people I've met), I'm dubious over. I'm hearing things, seeing things and seriously questioning some of those actions... It makes it hard to keep trusting someone, and makes me question if these new people will be the same.

And for (mostly) my Mass friends, this is for you...
( I am Avril )

9:53pm: My Kitten Has Been Named
You may call him "Jormungand Gungnir Valkjosandi"
Blame Valkyrie Profile. =D

12:58pm: Random.
Looking at Landis' "who posts the most" thing, I decided to do that too (in a 'just me' journal). Looking through it, there are a lot of people who left and who I don't talk to anymore (real life and LJ). It's kind of depressing when I think about it. Some of those people were really good friends and we've drifted apart so much in such little time. S'a shame.

Work is not going great. Left w/ NO ONE to work w/ on Monday. So much work that had to be done, and doing it alone is not so easy. However, I should be done w/ work on Tues. now. I didn't work those days for a reason, and I'm glad it's over. Although, my schedule will get a bit shaken up as I'm trading my Fri. nights for Thurs. nights to help out a co-worker who is going to school. Nothing drastic. I'll like having a long weekend again. =D

Valkyrie Profile is such a pretty game. A bit repetitive, sure, but it's fun. I decided to play the first one again, then go to the third (since it's shorter than the second) and then to the second. Such a nice series, and you don't really miss out if you switch the order you play in. (though 1-2-3 is probably recommended).

I've been quite lethargic as of late. I don't even feel like playing a game or doing anything far too often. I go to work, come home and then veg out. Work is so draining as of late. I don't like being so lazy, but I'm too tired. Yesterday, I came home (5:30pm) and slept from 6:30 to 12:30am, only to go back to bed at 2:00am (b/c there was a chance of being called into work). On the plus side, I feel good today. But what to do today? I wouldn't mind going out, but it's the lack of transportation that holds me back from a lot of things. Gotta start driving, get a license and a car. But that's more long term than just 'what to do today'.

2:31pm: Quickly
Saw Nightwish in concert. Awesome again. Shorter show this time, but better opening act. Was there w/ Miss Mer, Jenny and her sister. T'was nice not being alone. =P

Next week is Alkaline Trio in concert. Lawdy, I'z findin' me some good concerts this month. I'll be sure to judge their concert performance.

Work is a mess. When the owner says "I'll be right back," that means at least two hours. He needs to stop leaving when I'm supposed to leave. I do not like having to stay later than I am supposed to. It messes up my bus schedule... Also, I've worked w/ three new people in three days I've been there. Only one is a cook, though. He's worked three days so far, and I'm left alone w/ him? Nuh-uh. Not good at all. If we get busy, there will be a mess. Hopefully he catches on quick.
Also w/ work, I am covering for someone for the month of May, and the boss wants me to cover a cook (who quit)'s shifts, which would leave me only Sunday off. That's not going to work for me, not this month anyway. Job search away!

12:06am: Vacation?
I asked for two weeks off from work so that I may go home for a little while. I haven't seen my family or friends in MA in quite some time, I thought I owed it to them. I inform my mom about this and that I'll be home for a couple weeks. The response I get is "That's good, now you can cover for Sophie at the diner."
...
I didn't ask for time off from work one place to work in another. I'm sure they're happy to have someone to fall back on when I'm about and it's appreciated that I'm so invaluable, but it's my vacation, come on. Oh well. Money is money, right?

Speaking of work, I may have to find a new place (in KY) to work at. Our manager got fired and the owner is taking over that spot. After hearing this, at least two other cooks put in their notice. The owner has already run one business into the ground, what to think he won't do the same to this one? I digress, w/ those two leaving, there is no way I'll be able to pick up all the slack. I'm still relatively new, but I'd become the second most experienced cook back there... That's good and all, but I'm not going to want to work 7 days a week w/ a few 12 hour shifts to pick up what they're losing. Not that I expect them to ask me to do that. Hey, they may have hired a few new people already, who knows? I'm going to stick it out for a while to see what changes may happen, but I'm not going to stay if it's going to be detrimental to me, my personal life (including time off I already asked for) or what have you.

Anyway, vacation here has been okay. I've seen a few people, though I wished to see more (or for longer durations). This visit here hasn't been anything too-too specially noteworthy. In fact, it was a rather mellow visit, which is a nice change.

I'll be back to Kentokyo soon. Huzzah!

(NTS, post 'thoughts')

8:02pm: Restless Nights
I am so tired (no pun intended) of not sleeping at night. I've been unable to have a good night sleep for the last few months, despite taking sleeping gel caps. I don't know what is keeping me awake/not allowing me to stay asleep. Is it it so much to want at least six solid hours of sleeping?

Nightwish May 6th here in Louisville. I'm wanting people to come and join me this time. So far,I'm the only one w/ a ticket. I hope this is nothing like the last Nightwish concert I went to all alone. If anyone is going to be in the area and wants to go, please let me know!

Getting a PS3, two controllers, RE5 and Killzone for $250. Awesome deal. Can't beat that. Now to get me some Street Fighter IV and I'm happy.

Vacation time can't come soon enough. I need a vacation. Too much going on, need the break.

9:58pm: Explosive (Work) Day
Today's work day involved things exploding all over me. From hot grease to green beans to creamed corn, it was a messy, uncomfortable day. Otherwise, work hasn't been too productive the last few days. I want to guess it's because of the Louisville NCAA games, however since they have been ousted from the tournament business may pick up again. Or, well, we can only hope.

Good times last weekend with a trip to Lexington for a fry party. I got to see people I haven't seen in a long time. I hope something like that happens again, it's good to get out once in a while.

It's funny that I had so much to say as I wrote this in my head, but I've lost most of it. =\ Oh well. I'll get back to it later. =D

Random fact: I'm enjoying the Brady Bunch movies far too much.

4:31pm: I Need A Vacation
Stress: Tuesday, we had a water hose kind of burst. In a panic, I didn't know what to do, nor did the roommates. It took close to, but less an hour to find the main water shut-off that was hidden in Mer's room. So w/ that happening, we had to call a plumber. It cost me a bit of money since no one else had money at the time. Aside from the money, the leak got to the basement, leaking over my dresser, getting clothes wet, along w/ everything on the floor around it. The last few days, I've been doing laundry to clean up the mess down there. Uhg. Plus, I putting on weight. >_o;

Work is going well. It's slowed down a bit, but that doesn't mean I don't still have a lot of other things to do there. Lots to clean, lots to prep. I'm hoping to get some time off so I can go home (MA) for a while. I need to talk that over.

My days off haven't felt very relaxing lately. I need to do something different. Hopefully, going home to MA will be one of those things.

I had more, but my mind has drawn a blank. Oh well. Hope y'all are doing well.

2:02pm: Unliked : Thoughts
Any of you who read Miss Mer or Leslie journals have already gotten something like this, but here it is again. Only this time, more personalized...

Because someone does not like a friend of mine, I'm disliked, or so it seems. This "guilty-by-association" thing bothers me. So if you have friends through a broad spectrum, but that spectrum overlaps one area hat another person doesn't like, you should be discounted as a person to be friends with.

I'm well aware that the people you hang out with says something about who you are, but it doesn't mean that you should be discounted. I have friends who are friends with people I'm not fond of, but it doesn't make them any less my friend. Can't it be possible to see who the person is, as a person, rather than see who they are based on the company they keep? Especially if you ALREADY were okay with the person BEFORE you knew who they were associated with. Fickle, fickle...

'Course, the reason they don't like this person is because they're... "closer" (?) to a person than they are now (this is how I see it). Can't have what you want, so you have to take it out not only on that person, but their associates. But they're just fine with the person that that they wish to be closer to, despite the fact that it was their choice to get closer to another. No, it can't be their fault (or your own fault), it had to be that foul temptress that sang a siren's song to lure them away from you.

Or, I'm just not a pleasant person to be around and they have just cause to not like me. Y'know, that's possible too.

10:10pm: Long Time Coming
Wow, it's been a few months since I last updated. So here we go, as short as possible...

End of Dec: Xmas came and Xmas went. Gift of the year would have to be the Street Fighter DVD set. The American Street Fighter that was on USA, the one that's so bad it hurts. :laughs: It's good for a giggle.

Jan: New Year's wasn't anything to memorable. Honestly, I can't remember much of it except turning on ABC to see the actual count-down. The rest of January went like a blur.

Finally on the payroll at work.

Had two lovely ladies, Andrea and Jane, come from MA to visit for a weekend. It was great to see them. Unfortunately, the wasn't much for me to do in ways of entertaining them, but they seemed to enjoy themselves. Hopefully, I'll be seeing them again soon. (I still don't know when, so don't ask, 'Drea. =P)

End of Jan - Feb: Big ice storm knocked out our power for about a week. It was cold and unpleasant. Even work was out of power. It would have been nice of someone there to have called me to let me know instead of me getting there and having to walk back home. >=[ The worst part of the ice storm/power outage was it was during Super Bowl Sunday, and the Steelers were in it! I walked to the bar and watched some of the game, but still, no good. They won and my mom called to let me know the results. The end sounded like quite a sight and I wished I could have seen it. Oh well.
Power is back, and has flickered the past week w/ a wind storm that passed through. Thankfully, no outage. Good deal.

Lately, nothing really worth mentioning. Work is busy, but good. People are fine, no real complaints.

It's nice being rather content right now.

9:53am: Uhhhhg...
This is ridiculous. >=[

More to follow.

1:38pm: Mini + Tag
Congratulations to Miss Mer for graduating. I'm so proud and happy for you. After her ceremony, we went to Golden Corral w/ some her family and others. They ended up Rick Rolling the place. :shakes head: Such strange people. =P Her mini grad party was fun. Small gathering of the house people (Spi, Mer, Leslie, and myself), Deagle and Jaime. Good times, good fun. =D

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